Two Days

It has only been TWO DAYS since I last wrote and it feels like ten.

Wednesday night our baby boy's heart rate kept dropping. At 24 weeks pregnant, with no fluid, it is common for babies to squish their umbilical cord. Hailey did this as well. His heart rate would go down in the 70's and stay for 2 minutes until he rolled off of it. Then it would shoot right back up to the 140's. He has continued to do this now for two days. It is exhausting!! Monitoring all the time, rolling from side to side, back and forth, trying to get him off his cord. It is in these moments that I wonder, how can I have the strength to do this again? Surely I can't. Very little sleep, very little to eat,  sore muscles and body from moving and then staying in one certain position, doctors coming in wondering if it is time to induce or keep baby in there, talking about risks, only to decide it is better for him to stay in there. Sometimes I think I know too much for my own good about this process.

I finally have a few hours off of the monitor this afternoon. I get to maybe sleep, eat, sit up and MAYBE go on a walk around the wing!!! When I got off the monitor a nurse came in with some mail:) I got wool socks( totally awesome!) and a great book that I have read snip-its of and am looking forward to reading the whole thing. There wasn't a name with it, so if it were you, THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER! It couldn't have shown up at a better time.

There are so many things to be thankful for. So much praise to God for the answered prayers thus far. I have made it 24 weeks, stopped bleeding, my white blood counts are back down, and contractions have stopped thus far. Continued prayers for wisdom for the doctors, this little boy to stop squishing  his cord so his heart can beat(and his momma to get some sleep), emotional and physical strength for me, strength for Jake as he is home for most of the week working(he did rush down Wednesday night), and a guarding over Mason as he is confused about what is happening with his mom being gone now for two weeks. We are so thankful for Jake's job and the allowance to leave at any moment to be down here and for family that is taking care of Mason.

In Your justice and Your mercy
Heaven walked the broken road
Here to fight this sinner's battle
Here to make my fall Your own

Turn my eyes to see Your face
As all my fears surrender
Hold my heart within this grace
Where burden turns to wonder

I will fight to follow
I will fight for love
Throw my life forever
To the triumph of the Son

Fighting for His triumph over this world, 
Amy