Hope

There has not been that much activity this week, which is good!! I am at 25 weeks and 4 days today :)  I won't get another ultrasound until Feb. 15th to check on the growth of this baby boy. My short term goal is to get as far as I can, but 28 weeks is February 21st which would be pretty cool to get to. My long term goal is 34 weeks(the furthest I can without fluid before they induce me) which is April 3rd.

With all those numbers floating around this week in my head, I have had a lot of time to think. Mostly I have been thinking on the word hope. The definition of hope is; the assurance of something unseen. There is a vast different between human hope and biblical hope. Often times we as humans label our wishful thinking as hope "I hope the Denver Broncos win the Super Bowl." "I hope the sun is out this weekend." These statements are thing we wish/want to happen. However, in 1 Tim. 4:10 it says " we have our hope set on the living God,who is the Savior to all  people, especially of those who believe".   There is no wishing our wanting in this assurance of Faith. We know that we can have a hope in our God because Jesus Christ came, paid our debt, and offers us free salvation thru accepting Him as our Lord and Savior.  It turns our human hope of "I hope so" to a biblical hope of "I know so".  It may be confusing to some. I find nothing but comfort in that. Do I desperately want this baby to live? ABSOLUTELY.  Do I think Jake is an outstanding father and should get a chance at raising another son? NO DOUBT.

BUT

These are are flesh wants. Do we have an Abba Father in heaven who knows perfectly all that He created? YES. Does our God have a plan and purpose for all he ordains on this earth? YES, AND IT'S ALL FOR HIS GLORY. As much as my flesh wants another child, the hope that is found in our Savior trumps all. Not just because I get a pass into heaven. But because I get the distinct privilege to be used for His plan of glory. To take part of and watch his kingdom come. If our son does not make it will I be sad? DEEP SORROW. But the peace that God gives is immeasurable. I have to believe that it was in God's plan and that he will use it for His glory and purpose, because He is perfect in all of His ways.

After Hailey passed, Jake and I read a book "Holding onto Hope" by Nancy Guthrie. (PHENOMENAL  BOOK) there is this part of the book that talks about submitting to God. She says that so often our Christian community focuses so hard on passionately and boldly crying to God for healing and then adding a ps at the end of it says "if it's in your will". she goes on to say, that isn't that so backwards of what we should be praying? Shouldn't we cry out with boldness, passion and persistence,  "Lord, mold my heart after you. Teach me your ways. Give me understanding and grace for your will. Make it known." and then, perhaps, we could add a ps at the end of it saying "and if it includes healing, we would be most grateful". The way that Jake and I pray has forever been changed by this. I want to invite you to pray with us this transforming prayer.

The hope that we have found is a hope that is only found in the Lord. It is so much more profound and life changing than the best wish we could ever imagine for ourselves. It's only in this hope that we stand strong and ready to walk.

Anyway, Just glimpse into our thoughts lately....

For Jake too,
Amy