28.2-Welcome to the third trimester

Well, still pregnant and actually looking pregnant!! After loosing 7.5 lbs. of water I almost didn't look pregnant anymore. Now six weeks later I look like there is a baby in there after all!!!

I have been having contractions both in my back and in the front, and a lot of aches and pains, sometime longer monitoring because baby boy's heart rate drops. I am just tired. I like to lay most of the day, it feels the best on my body. I feel and find strength in the Lord, but feel physically weak.

 BUT I have been finding great comfort in this verse from Isaiah 30:18 (from the message version) "But God's not finished. He's waiting around to be gracious to you. He's gathering strength to show mercy to you. God takes the time to do everything right- EVERYTHING. Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones." I don't know how I feel about the word lucky being in there, but...

My mom is here and has been a HUGE help. She is leaving on Saturday if nothing happens before then, and then will come back when labor happens.

I have been here six weeks and wish for six more! That would take me all the way to 34 weeks!

Specific Prayer Requests:
1. Find relief physically for my aching body( losing muscle from laying so long, my back, normal aches and pains of pregnancy plus added aches and pains from there being no fluid in there with a growing baby).

2. Steady and healthy heart rate for baby boy. (I learned that now he is 28 weeks, Wharton's Jelly has formed around the umbilical cord for protection. This jelly makes it harder for him to squish his cord, resulting in fewer dips).

3. Appropriate growth and maturation for baby boy's lungs, brain and pulmonary system.

4.  That we could make it to 34 weeks.

5.  Emotional stability for Mason.

6. Baby is still breech. It would be nice for him to turn; however we believe that his position is keeping those contractions from becoming labor inducing ones. So maybe, if I can get picky, that he will turn when it is time to labor.

Love from room 609!
Amy

An Ultrasound Update

I got an ultrasound today and the little man is still growing according to his age! He is guessed to weigh around 2 lb. and 9 oz. (They have a formula they use to guess weight according to the femur length, head size and abdomen circumference). More importantly is the 4.7 centimeters of fluid they found. Which means that he is still producing fluid, a good good sign of lung maturation.  Again, it is so hard to confuse the weight of him with his overall health. I could still have a big 5 lb. baby boy but  because of the lost fluid the development of his lungs could be very poor. There is no way to measure the maturation or health of his lungs, brain, and pulmonary system. We will just have to wait until he is born to see how they are. For now though, we rejoice that he is still safely inside at 27 and 2 weeks and growing like a champ.

My mom is coming back tomorrow. This past weekend I started contracting. The contractions have stopped for the time being, but I still feel pretty weak. It will be so nice to have her here to help!




Specific Prayer Requests:
*Strength for me physically and mentally as I have been here for 5 weeks and hope to go 7 more.
*Baby boy to move to a head down position. He is breech right now. It is much harder for babies to move after the water is gone and they will not aid in trying to flip him with no fluid.
*Proper development and maturation for baby's lungs, brain, and pulmonary system.
* Energy and strength for Jake as he is trying to balance a wife in the hospital two hours away, a son at home, and a full time job.

Love to all,

Amy

26.4

I never knew that the number 26.4 would haunt me like it does. I always thought that May 20th would be the first time I would have to relive that horribly beautiful day I got to meet Hailey Joy. But, here we sit on February 11, 2016. Today I am 26 weeks 4 days. The exact amount of time we made it before Hailey made her entrance into this world. Today, there is a flood of questions going through my head. Primarily, will my body be able to make it past this point this time around? Is my body able to keep this child in longer? How long can I make it? If he were born today, what would happen? Am I ready to go through this whole process again? I just went on a walk through the halls of the labor unit(something I try to do four times a day) and there was the NICU box that they transfer a preemie baby that is born up here down to the NICU sitting in the hall almost in the exact spot it sat for Hailey. I almost went faint and cried. I know that the Lord will give me strength when it is our turn, but thinking about it is so very daunting. Our Lord holds me, Jake, and this precious boy in His hands. Ready to give rest, peace, joy, and healing to all of us. Today we are resting in the knowledge that God knows when and all that will happen, and has it all ordained for His glory.

A friend shared this lullaby with Jake and I and we want to share it with all of you on this day, a very odd day of remembrance.  Obviously dedicated to our sweet sweet Hailey Joy.

https://www.facebook.com/craig.aven.3/videos/vb.622867619/10153464588462620/?type=2&theater

Copy and Paste above link to listen

Perfect Way To Start
By: Craig Aven

I guess I'll have to wait
To hold you in my arms
But God knows how I've held you in my heart
It hurts to think that it may be awhile
Before we see how beautiful you are

And you may not know, but all our kids have songs
And though you have flown way for now
Daddy's still going to write you one

Usually lullaby's don't make mommy's and daddy's cry
But we're both sad and overjoyed to know that Jesus holds you tight
Baby you made us proud
We smile just thinking about
How you left and your first steps will be on holy ground
Be still my heart, heaven's the perfect way to start

I have to say I'm fighting just to sing
Cuz the Angel's get to teach you how to sing
And mommy had your room all ready
With shade of blue and green
But she knows nothing can compare to all you've seen
What a sweet, sweet day its going to be
When you play with your brothers and sisters together on golden streets

Usually lullaby's don't make mommy's and daddy's cry
But we're both sad and overjoyed to know that Jesus holds you tight
Baby you made us proud
We smile just thinking about
How you left and your first steps will be on holy ground
Be still my heart, heaven's the perfect way to start.

Consults

I just had a conversation with my team of doctors recently asking for no more consults. I have had so many social workers, spiritual care guides, etc. come in and try to converse with me about my situation. I know their role is to be supportive and give care in that way however, it is such a blessing to be able to say I don't need them right now. Our team of doctors told us the other day, "Yeah,  I don't know many patients that have it together like you guys do; all the people and community that surround you guys are amazing and it's impressive to watch".

Jake and I feel SO loved by our community and we wanted to give a few shout outs to all the people that make up our community. These are the people that make it possible for us to be here, going through this again.

Our families are AMAZING! Jake's family has taken in another child for the time being(Mason). They are so selfless in giving and providing for him while I am here and Jake is either at work, or down here with me. Jess and Marty come and not only hang out with me, but take home dirty laundry to do and bring it back with a smile:) Scott comes, sits with me while on the monitor, plays games, and takes me on walks to "the cut". My mom not only came to be with me for a week, but her and my dad try to take my mind off of monitoring by facetiming me almost EVERY TIME no one is here to sit with me. Jason pays for delivery when Jake and I are sick of hospital food, and the prayer warriors that we have in our siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents is humbling.

Our church, (Whidbey Grace Community). MAN!!! I don't know if I have the words to describe, but I am going to try. Our church's mission is that we want to make disciples that make disciples. Our Pastor, Andy Mahoney and his wife Audra lead the way in this lifestyle. They set out to take our Lord seriously and obey his teachings in such a practical way, it disciples all who have the privilege of living life with them. And let me tell you something, the motto is in full affect. Whidbey Grace is full of disciples that take Jesus seriously and set out to be the hands and feet of Him on this earth. It is such an HONOR to be a part of a community like this, truly. We cannot tell you how much we feel loved, supported, and prayed over by this community. I have received cards after cards, flowers, gift baskets that are stuffed to the brim with books, magazines, verses, lotion, chocolate, handmade blankets for baby, snacks, socks, coloring books, etc.,  people that check in with me to update prayer requests and send love and comforts of His word, and people that drive all the way down here to sit with me for a few hours, friends that take our son for a few hours, people that drop off dinner for Jake during the week.  All of these things are such a support and comfort.  We feel so blessed to live in a community that recognizes their covenantal role in helping raise a child of God, even a child that is yet to enter this world. THANK YOU GRACE COMMUNITY!!

All of our friends. Friends that take Mason to his music class, friends that come down here and sit with me,  friends that drive all the way down here to bring me a razor, friends that send text messages filled with scripture and love,  friends that send packages filled with such goodies(I get to share a lot of the goodies with my wing mates), and friends that are able to pray for us when Jake and I don't have the words to pray.

To all of you who pray for us, THANK YOU. We get a glimpse of the kingdom when we hear and are told how many of you are praying for us. What a great God we serve! He can hold the whole world and yet know and care for the inners of our hearts. Amazing!!

So, Thank you!! to everyone!! it is because of you that I gain some strength and the doctors notice enough to be able to agree and write in my chart, "no consults needed"!!

We Love you all
 J&A, for Mason and baby boy too.

ps. prayer request for our hearts this week. Thursday marks 26 weeks and 4 days. The exact day I went into labor with Hailey. It will be an emotional week full of memories.

Hope

There has not been that much activity this week, which is good!! I am at 25 weeks and 4 days today :)  I won't get another ultrasound until Feb. 15th to check on the growth of this baby boy. My short term goal is to get as far as I can, but 28 weeks is February 21st which would be pretty cool to get to. My long term goal is 34 weeks(the furthest I can without fluid before they induce me) which is April 3rd.

With all those numbers floating around this week in my head, I have had a lot of time to think. Mostly I have been thinking on the word hope. The definition of hope is; the assurance of something unseen. There is a vast different between human hope and biblical hope. Often times we as humans label our wishful thinking as hope "I hope the Denver Broncos win the Super Bowl." "I hope the sun is out this weekend." These statements are thing we wish/want to happen. However, in 1 Tim. 4:10 it says " we have our hope set on the living God,who is the Savior to all  people, especially of those who believe".   There is no wishing our wanting in this assurance of Faith. We know that we can have a hope in our God because Jesus Christ came, paid our debt, and offers us free salvation thru accepting Him as our Lord and Savior.  It turns our human hope of "I hope so" to a biblical hope of "I know so".  It may be confusing to some. I find nothing but comfort in that. Do I desperately want this baby to live? ABSOLUTELY.  Do I think Jake is an outstanding father and should get a chance at raising another son? NO DOUBT.

BUT

These are are flesh wants. Do we have an Abba Father in heaven who knows perfectly all that He created? YES. Does our God have a plan and purpose for all he ordains on this earth? YES, AND IT'S ALL FOR HIS GLORY. As much as my flesh wants another child, the hope that is found in our Savior trumps all. Not just because I get a pass into heaven. But because I get the distinct privilege to be used for His plan of glory. To take part of and watch his kingdom come. If our son does not make it will I be sad? DEEP SORROW. But the peace that God gives is immeasurable. I have to believe that it was in God's plan and that he will use it for His glory and purpose, because He is perfect in all of His ways.

After Hailey passed, Jake and I read a book "Holding onto Hope" by Nancy Guthrie. (PHENOMENAL  BOOK) there is this part of the book that talks about submitting to God. She says that so often our Christian community focuses so hard on passionately and boldly crying to God for healing and then adding a ps at the end of it says "if it's in your will". she goes on to say, that isn't that so backwards of what we should be praying? Shouldn't we cry out with boldness, passion and persistence,  "Lord, mold my heart after you. Teach me your ways. Give me understanding and grace for your will. Make it known." and then, perhaps, we could add a ps at the end of it saying "and if it includes healing, we would be most grateful". The way that Jake and I pray has forever been changed by this. I want to invite you to pray with us this transforming prayer.

The hope that we have found is a hope that is only found in the Lord. It is so much more profound and life changing than the best wish we could ever imagine for ourselves. It's only in this hope that we stand strong and ready to walk.

Anyway, Just glimpse into our thoughts lately....

For Jake too,
Amy